Wednesday, October 10, 2007

l'arte d'arrangiarsi

Oh boy, and did I make something out of nothing. I've just returned from my Italian class, which up until stasera, was going rather well. And then, possessive adjectives. Sweet Jesus! Is it necessary to have a masculine & feminine singular and plural form for each pronoun? That equates to something like 24 forms I have to memorize. Shit!! So anyway, I'm sitting across from Dan, the blond haired blue eyed god in human form, who insists on placing himself directly in my line of vision every single class, trying to sort my way through this train wreck of a lesson while not allowing drool to pool on my textbook. And then it happens. Its my turn to create a sentence using the appropriate grammar, which I don't know and can't focus on; and instead of saying "non lo so", meaning I don't know, I blurt out "figlio di mignotta". Um, that means son of a bitch. . . and la professoressa e italiano. And she fully understands me. To make matters worse, Dan's gorgeous little Italian girlfriend is standing in the hallway just outside the door by which I'm sitting, and she hears me. Cue laughter. Follow that up with a hilarious discussion of my proficient use of Italian profanity underscored by my infantile use of the rest of the language. English, Italian, apparently I'm a sailor in any language. So what did I get out of tonight's two hours of class? A list of my favorite Italian curses. Enjoy amici!

Puttana: bitch/whore
Vaffanculo: go F#ck yourself/F#ck you, depending on context
Figlio di mignotta: son of a bitch
Stronzo: shithead
Cafone: asshole
Che bordello: what a friggin mess