WHAT. THE. FUCK. Ok, I try to be culturally sensitive when I travel. And I went into this bullfighting thing with an open mind. You know Hemingway wrote about it and made it sound so artistic and almost existential. Man against beast, the poetry of the matador maneuvering the toro around his body. What fucking ever. I made it through one dead bull and one possibly dead matador before I had to get the fuck out. I’m not going to lie. The costumes are fancy, shiny, and colorful. And, watching the bull coming charging out into the arena is really impressive. I will even go so far as to say that watching the matador simply maneuver the bull around with his cape is pretty and courageous and intriguing. And that’s where it ends. Once they start punching the banderillas into the bulls back to weaken its muscles and piss it off, now you’re just being a fucking douchebag. Let’s also be clear about something else. It’s not man against beast. It’s the bull against the goddamn swaying colored cape. That bull couldn’t have given two shits about the matador; he was naturally responding to the movement and color of the cape. Um, much like a kitten with a moving string. How the fuck is that man against beast. You’re the dumb shit waving the cape so close to your body, hoping he doesn’t get too close and gore your ass. At some points, the bull even stopped caring about the cape. The matador had to taunt it by waving it harder and even walking over to the bull and putting it directly in its face.
The first matador I saw apparently was not very good. He didn’t make a killing stab and the bull had to stagger around before it bled enough to fall down and then he could kill it. I stopped watching until I heard the crowd cheer and knew it was dead. Then the most fucking ridiculous portion of the event took place. Three beautiful horses all decked in red sashes, bells, and a yoke are paraded out to the dead animal. The carcass is hooked to their yoke and they drag it across the arena while some retard guys crack whips and yell shit. The crowd stands as if in honor of the dead bull. Unfuckingbelievable. I decided that I’d seen enough and was going to leave right after the second bull did the whole cape charging thing, but before they started hurting it. And, lo and behold the matador fucked up and got himself gored and trampled on. I had even just muttered, as the bull came charging into the ring, “I hope he gores your stupid ass.” I didn’t really mean it. Ok, I kinda did; but I didn’t necessarily need to see it. I’m pretty sure that guy was fucked up. All the little picadors, sort of rodeo clowns if you will, came running out to distract the bull with their capes and carry the wounded guy out. That’s when I picked up my stuff and beat it. As far as I’m concerned, that bull is still alive because I never saw differently; and, that matador got what he deserved for engaging in such a barbaric, pointless, and cruel event. And, the crowd . . . well I’m sure they are lovely humans, but what the fuck! I was the only person around who seemed in the least bit horrified. Everyone was all dressed up, snacking on nuts, drinking Cava, and otherwise acting like they were at Gold Cup. I just couldn’t believe it. I’ve asked several people, now, if they go to see the Toros. The answer is mostly a definitive no! Several times I’ve been told it is a “spectacle” that only the rich go to. If that is the case, the rich are some seriously fucking bored ass people if this is their version of entertainment.
I know I voluntarily went to this thing; and, I know I read about the how they wounded and then killed the bull, but I was still stunned and horrified. Pageantry, courage, and passion my fucking ass!!!!! I am less of a human for having watched this. I gave a homeless man some euro on my way home; hopefully that will balance things out!
liquid courage did not help when it came right down to it!
entrance to the shitshow, notice the man with a cooler of drinks and snacks.
the arena is really pretty when no animals are being killed in it
cape work is cool to watch; they should just leave it at that and not harm the bull. FUCKERS!
yeah, that bull is no longer interested, oh but let’s taunt it and then kill it anyway
the banderillas may be colorful and pretty but they are still cruel
the matador who got gored and the bull who won, as far as I’m concernedcivilized video I took on my way home to make myself feel better. No idea why its sideways.
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